I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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