this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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