i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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