what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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