You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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