we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
