areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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