The brown eye won't let me do that either.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
