I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
