I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
