She just used a chaser for red wine.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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