Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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