you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
