Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
