Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
