So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Randomize
