So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
