I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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