i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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