How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Randomize
