Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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