you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
