just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We had to coat check the pizza.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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