I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
