tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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