Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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