Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
