Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
