I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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