My brain says no but my pants say off.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
