My boss' voice literally gives me gas
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
