I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
