Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I am naked and annoyed.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
