those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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