we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
