tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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