Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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