did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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