i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
