Cold hands, warm shart.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
