Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
