I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
