Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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