I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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