Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
