I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
