he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
