only if we run a train.
done.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
