why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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