Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
