Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
