after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
