the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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