sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
